Whatever it takes
by Bara-aoi
Summary: Kurama's sick of waiting around for Hiei to voice his emotions, so he comes up with a plan. . . YAOI HieiKurama, rated R for what happens later
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Um. . .after rereading this, I realized there was a ton of spelling errors in this chapter, so this is a second version, nothing was changed, except for I ran it through spell check. . .

Author's Note: Ah, the wonders of my ever roaming imagination. I'm sure I thought up this particular story in either Pre-calc or American History. . .probably while I should've been paying attention *shrugs* but you shouldn't suppress creative urges, as I always say so here goes, review if you like it, or even if you don't, criticism, if it doesn't kill me, only make my writing stronger, right?

Warning: THIS IS YAOI. . .k, all I can say is ya don't like it, don't read.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and most likely never will, so please don't sue me.  
  
  
  
~Kurama's POV~

How many years has it been since I met him, the one who plagues my dreams, sleeping and awake? How many years has it been, since I first allowed myself to fall in love with him? How many years has it been since I agreed to never relent in my pursuit of him? How many times have I faded from telling him of this intent? How many times have I hinted, only to be denied feedback by his naivete or stubborn facade? How many times has he shown indifference to my emotions? How many times have I let him leave me, cold & alone? How many nights have I cried myself to sleep? How many more have I laid alone on my sheets my right hand playing his role? How many times have I woken up ashamed of my lonely fantasizing?

Hiei. 

How long have I wasted on him? Pining over the one who would never admit to wanting love, all the while turning away those who asked freely of it. How many years have I saved myself for him, stayed a virgin for him, was determined for him?

Too many.

I've been hurting myself with this obsession too long. . .bearing it, accepting it, and like some demented masochist, learning to like it.

No anymore. No more waiting, no more torment. No more loneliness, not for Youko Kurama.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When I woke up this morning I felt different, I felt good. I hadn't woken up weary from nightmares of his cold rejections. The mental strain of the millions of unanswered questions was relieved, replaced with the contentment associated with finding the answers. I had awoken with a smile, for today I had answers, and a plan to set in motion.

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. A red head stared back at me. The same red head that had mocked me from within its refractive haven for 18 long years. He's shorter, thinner, more fragile then youko had ever been. The long red mane, so different to the silver, matched his big green eyes. His eyes, verdant and caring, a complete contrast to the cold calculating yellow. creating the illusion of vulnerability. He lacked every aspect of Youko's sensuality. . .and yet he is beautiful. Suuichi is beautiful. I am beautiful. 

I allow my view to descend from my face, to trace the delicate contours of my breasts, abdomen, hips, and lower. . .everything perfect, porcelain, uninterrupted by blemish or scar. . .untouched, innocent. Yes, innocence, that was the element in which this form's sexiness lied, and with it I could have anyone. Female or male, anyone. . .except him.

I feel the familiar sting as tears collect behind my eyes. No. No, I locked my jaw against the sudden wave of emotion. I would not shed another tear for that stubborn fire demon. I would not let another hot saline drop trail down my cheek for his sake. Not a single one.

Hiei's right. . . I've become too soft, living in this nigen world. It would be hard but I needed to be indifferent, to pretend to be unaffected, to feign disregard for the countless rejections given by his haughty stoic pride. I needed to. If I didn't my plan would fail. I needed to succeed. I want Hiei, I need him, and when I'm through, he will be mine. . .  
  
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Author's Note: Well, did ya like it? !!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!! *smiles sweetly* please? oh and if ya do try to guess what Kurama's plan is, I think I gave hints, maybe, I dunno, but I'd like to have some opinions as to where people expect it to go, I mean I don't want to be predictable.  
  


Reviews inspire me, so please review.  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: First off I would like to apologize for all the time it took me to put this chapter up (if ya wanna know why it took me so God awfully long, check my bio) I thank all of you who reviewed the first chapter and were patient enough to wait for the second. So many reviews *does happy dance* I was so inspired I've got the story all written in my head. . .can't say the same for it on paper, but I hope, now that I have a new computer, to be typing and updating more often!

Disclaimer: Lets pretend I did own Yu Yu Hakusho, First off if ya were to buy the episodes ya would have to be 21, because they would in fact be rated X, due mostly to Hiei fighting in the nude and Hiei and Kurama's . . .relationship would be well proven, every aspect of it. . .*over active imagination kick into overdrive*. . . . . . . . . . . . . .*ahem*sorry. . .anywho, that being said I think its safe to assume, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters.

Warning: If ya happened to read the first chapter before the second, I don't really think this is necessary, but I'll say it again, this story contains Yaoi , Shonen-ai, or in other words a male/male relationship. Don't like, leave. Do like, enjoy!

~Hiei's POV~

He'd been in there for no small amount of time. If I had cared to learn the nigen's time keeping methods to perfection I'd guess the total time wasted by that baka kitsune would amount to well over ½ an hour.

A half hour of my life I didn't appreciate spending staring at the pristine white of his bedroom walls as he primped, primmed, or did whatever else he deemed worthy to do in the confines of his bathroom.

I shifted from my customary position at the window sill, struggling to find a position in which my bottom wouldn't be given the opportunity to become numb. . . after a few minutes I realized this was futile and hopped from my previous perch, to land silently onto the dark green carpet, my boots and katana remaining on the sill. 

The fox hated dirt, and, for as much as I argued otherwise, was convinced my boots were covered in it. Therefor they had to be removed. After a short argument, which was initiated, at least on my part, to see the fox's reaction, I acquiesced to this demand , if for no other reason than, it didn't really bother me to be less my shoes. Besides it would save the kitsune from any other unneeded stress. 

As for my Katana. . .

He insisted upon its removal from its place at my side, something I disagreed to vehemently. He, however, being the youko that innocent human facade hides, quickly tricked me into agreeing. . .with a less than . . .fair comment about the depth of my fighting skills. When I objected to the trickery, he threatened to lock his window till I came to my senses. It had been raining that night, so once again the fox had twisted me into doing exactly what he wanted. . .  
  
Hn. It wasn't raining or snowing now, but he had won that argument and I decided to let it lie, I'd be more cautious next time. . .after all I have no reason to need its protection here.

I settled onto the cushioning plush, leaning my back on the wall below the window. My eyes searched for anything to distract them from the oppressing whiteness, but lost focus as they shut.

~*~*~*~*~*~* 

I awoke upon hearing a soft click as a door else where in the house was opened, fairly close, could be Kurama I mused absently, as I shook off the last reminisce of sleep. I looked up to his door expectantly.

When the door didn't open immediately, as much as I hate to admit it, I became impatient. I wanted to see his face. . .I wanted to be near him. . .be with him. . .spend time with him. And this want, this need, made me weak.

Hn. And a weakness it was. I hated the effects my. . ."fondness" of the fox had bestowed upon me. In the Makai I'd be dead ten times over for the faith I put in, and was returned by, the youko. I trusted him more than anyone. . .ever, and, although it pained me to no end to admit it, I was afraid of what, if left alone to continue, our friendship would ultimately entail. It had made me feel things I had never expected in my wildest dreams to experience as the "forbidden child". It showed me acceptance, that some one could care, and even I could have a place and people to come back to. . .it introduced me to the world beyond my solitude.

Though, deny it to the end I will, for all the things given to me, something was taken away. . . my stone cold stoicism. In return for friendships gifts, I began to care. Not in the way one cares about family, I had always watched over and protected Yukina, when I could. No, this was different, I had no bond to the nigens, the fox. . . no blood, no ties, no common goals. All that bound me to them was friendship. 

It was the bane and highlight of my existence.

I had determined, even though it aggravated me to no end, that I'd protect that fox and help him to the point of my death replacing his own. . .and pretty damn close for the other two morons. 

It was destroying the walls that had defined me, and kept me predictable to myself. . . I did things I wouldn't have done before. My fear of it was rooted in this sacrifice. It had claimed my indifference, what else would it take? 

Whatever it would ask, I fear I would give it, weather the outcome be worth it or not. I'm becoming soft. . .I'm becoming tamed.

I heard footsteps fall quietly outside the door, and my thoughts were jerked back to the present. I remained seated as the door knob turned and revealed the very soul who'd caused my prior, rather disturbing, thought tangent.

"Hello Hiei." The redhead said smiling at me. In response I felt a small grin of my own invade my features. I let it come, and even allowed him to witness it, I was, in truth, happy to see him. . .I gave into my weakness, I wanted him to know I missed him.

"You were gone a long time Hiei, has Murkro been keeping you busy?" The fox asked off handedly. I recognized the question immediately as another of Kurama's attempts to make me engage in "small talk". And I obliged him, if for no other reason than to hear his much missed voice.

"Hn. Yes, she had me on border duty."

The fox looked rather surprised that I decided to include myself in this conversation, but masked it quickly with another question.

"Did she give you a vacation then?"

"No, actually Koenma sent for me. . .we have another mission."

Kurama regarded me for a moment, as though trying to decide how to respond to my answer. He turned from me, so I couldn't see his face.

"Is that why you came to see me then?" His words had a bitter edge to them.

I knew from his position Kurama couldn't see the confusion written plainly on my face, but I suppose he interpreted my silence as such.

"I mean Hiei, is that the only reason you stopped by?" His voice had returned to its normal tranquillity, but what he said left me feeling a little. . .guilty? I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't formulate any coherent sentences. The fox didn't do anything to help me either. He simply started to file though his closet in search for something to replace his attire, which, at this point, consisted of a single towel draped around his waist.

I stayed silent, standing slowly and redirected my gaze to the blue sky outside the window. I looked away, I didn't know at what, just . . .away. how could one kitsune do that to me. Me, Hiei, who could fight a thousand enemies without flinching, was conflicted over one fox demon. One incredibly kind, beautiful fox demon. Ha, what I wanted to do was run across the room and hug him and tell him exactly what I felt. Why I insisted Koenma let me bring Kurama to the Renkai for briefing. And. . .

And what? Hope he felt the same, that he also considered me his best friend. . .what if it wasn't that way? I've seen him with the hundreds of nigens, being as polite and kind to them as he ever was to me. . .I knew more than any of them did about him, but the same could be said about him of me . . .what did I have that any one of them didn't? If anything they had more, they weren't shunned as forbidden children. . .

"So what is this mission, Hiei?" Kurama's smooth tenor asked from behind me. 

"Hn, he didn't give me any details." I said more harshly than I had actually intended, "but he did say it was urgent, so could you possibly hurry up?" I cringed inwardly at myself, but while I was scolding the fox I didn't feel guilt, or the stupid need of him, or the fear. 

I heard the fox let out a deep breath, "Then we should be leaving right away." He stated, completely void of any hint to me. I turned to discover he was already dressed. I regarded him a moment before replying with a "Hn" and exiting out the window . 

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Author's Note: Just a minor side thought I had as I read this over, at this point the "want, need, ect." Hiei is talking about is not an attraction, not yet, or at least at this point its not recognized as such, and in Hiei's case he doesn't even know what kind of relationship this "feeling" could turn into, so its nothing sexual (In this fic I wanted Hiei to be naive, so the end comes out better), its more like the bond of friendship. . .if ya have a best friend ya have to know what I mean, to want to just hang with them. . . yeah, sumfin like that. . .

Oh, and before I forget, I know this chapter is kind of just fluffy random musings, but believe me, when the story actually gets some semblance of a plot development (should be next chapter, or maybe the fourth) it'll tie in. . .

!!!!comment if you so choose!!!!

Please choose to *puppy eyes* reviews inspire me to type faster and let homework go undone in the process *smiles*. . .


	3. Chapter 3

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Author's Note: YAY! Chapter 3!I don't know how I accomplished it, especially since I've had writer's block and spent most of my time writing later chapters (10-14), and a new story I hope to be putting the first chapter of up in a few days, (check it out), and a few songfics. . .BUT, anywho, here it is. . .

Oh, to explain the chapter set up, every other chapter is going to be a different vantage point of the same event as in the previous chapter, so this chapter is going to have the same occurrences as chapter 2, but in Kurama's POV.

Um. . .just some side thoughts, I don't actually understand Hiei's black dragon thingy so bare with me and I assume you'll understand why Kurama is taking a shower. . .

oh and if you do choose to review, please I need a little criticism of my actual writing. . .I know my writing style is a little strange (so says my English teacher), and I'd just like to know, am I making sense to anyone, or am I just "vague and annoying"–Mrs. Holland(English teacher)

Notes to Reviewers:

Lovescsi *laughs hysterically at PC monitor* All I have to say is, yup, ya guessed it, Kurama was talking about, put into less elegant terms, masturbating in the first chapter. But truthfully, what did you expect? Is it not you who is reading R rated Yaoi, huh, huh? Yes, you are, so don't blame me if ya get grossed out. . .*sticks out tongue and does victory dance*

LilAngel12558 *gives a cookie* Ya almost hit the nail on the head, Kurama does plan to make Hiei jealous, but more elements go into it then his sudden stoicism, I know this chapter doesn't really show this, but in future chapters you'll see what I'm talking about. . .

Kuroshi Tatsaki *grumbles* . . .This is going to sound bitchy, but its really not. . .Thank you for alerting me to my error, however I don't feel like going back through and changing every time I use the word "Ningen", or as I spelled it nigen (blame laziness), so I apologize for my stupidity. . .

Katyfoxdemon2 * nods * I do too, they're such a cute couple!!!!!!

Castilia I'll try.

Angelbird12241 If only I had more time to type I'd update everyday!!!

Also I wanna thank all my anonymous reviewers!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I believe we went over this already in chapter 2, I DON'T OWN IT!!!. . .but don't ya wish I did? *evil smirk*

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Warning: I assume since you've gotten past the first 2 chappies you understand what this story is about, so this is the last time I'm putting warnings. . .YAOI. . .*cracks knuckles* k?????

"How long will I be waiting, 

until the end of time, 

don't know why I'm still waiting, 

can't make you mine"

-Good Charlotte "Addicted" 

Kinda matches . . .maybe not, oh well it was playing while I was typing. . .

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~Kurama's POV~

I turned the brass handle and was instantly rewarded with a rain of freezing cold water against my chest. I shivered slightly as the drops collected and ran in rivulets down my stomach and legs. I didn't enjoy the bitter sensation of the drops stealing away my body heat, but it was exactly what I needed at this point. 

Damn youko sensibilities. 

I could want to kill him with every fiber of my being and with one mental picture of his well muscled form, any feelings, good or bad I may have had, become subdued by lust. . .probably a side effect of staying celibate too long. 

That and the fact that he decides to show up just as I'm 'picturing' him, didn't help either.

I had immediately recognized the new energy as Hiei's. I suppose the years of constant contact with him allowed me to become familiar with, and comfortable around, his unique, fire/ice youki. Even considering this I was still surprised by his sudden presence. He hadn't visited the Nigenkai in two weeks. . .damn Murkro, she kept him so busy. If Hiei was anyone but the "more challenge the better" Hiei, he would have quit long ago.

I know he hated staying away, if for no other reason, than the guilt he felt for not being close to his twin. I suppose he justified his absence, in his own mind, with the strength he gained from his intensive training.

And intensive it was. He had been that bionical bitch's heir for little over two years and had already mastered his black dragon to perfection, and was now able to produce three consecutive waves without the need to recharge in sleep. I missed that. . .not the worry for his state. . . but rather the way he would be left vulnerable after defeating our enemy. I missed carrying his sleeping form in my arms, taking care of him, and the extended time I was allowed to spend with him while he fully recharged. I missed the liberty I was given. . .and the trust he put in me.

Hn, I'm letting it get to me again . . . 

I considered, if only for a moment, to hurry and cut my shower short, so my little fire youki wouldn't have to wait. . .and to a greater extent so I could fulfill my need to see him. I dismissed this, however, when I remembered he was the very reason I needed to take a cold shower. And, beyond that very. . .direct point, I'd just made a promise to myself I wouldn't give into these emotions. He had tortured me with his indifference, and it was time I give him a taste of his own medicine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I again turned the brass handle, this time being granted a relent from the pelting of cold drops. I stepped out onto the cold porcelain of the bathroom's titled floor. I could still sense Hiei, though his youki was slightly diminished, had he fallen asleep? Hn. How rude, its his own damn fault I had to take so long in the infernal shower. . .even if he didn't know it. . . he should at least have the decency to stay awake. . .was that so much to ask? Although, the fact that he felt secure enough to let himself become unconscious, did say something for the trust he still had in me.

For a moment I felt the urge to drop all my careful planning, and forget my hour upon end midnight, thought sessions to work it out. It had, after all, been difficult task to gain Hiei's trust, it had been difficult, but nothing compared to the challenge of winning his heart. I dismissed my prior indecision, I hadn't waited years, I hadn't learned the 420 inflections of the word 'hn', I hadn't racked my brain countless nights for a solution, only to fail in the last stages of my intricate plan. I had known the execution of the plot would be the most difficult, it would take strength, will power, and above all, self control, which had never been one of my strong points.

I felt his youki immediately flicker, as I opened the bathroom door, announcing he was once again awake. That was Hiei, as sleep and still aware of everything. I chuckled to myself as I adjusted the towel about my waist one more time before stepping out into the hall way.

Quietly I walked to my bedroom door. I reached for the door knob, but hesitated as my hand landed on its smooth surface. I felt butterflies in my stomach, as I always did when Hiei was near me, but this time the infernal insects threatened to come up my throat and spill out into an unsightly stain on the light gray carpeting. 

Why was I so nervous? Its just Hiei, its just the same fire demon you've come to know over years. . .isn't it? So why suddenly do I feel nauseous?. . . Because I'm giving into these weakening emotions again. 

I took a deep breath urging my stomach back to its rightful place in my torso. I needed to think about something else. I removed my hand from the door knob and ran it though my quickly drying locks, hoping its silken smoothness could some how calm my nerves. My fingers ran over the various seeds, mentally taking inventory, and momentarily distracting me.

This was going to be a challenge, and I needed to be calm, I needed to have the strength. I swallowed the knot in my throat, and pushed the door open.

I immediately noticed my fire demon. His black attire stood out against my primarily white walls.

"Hello Hiei." I stated, accompanying it with in my signature smile. Though unsuccessful at hiding it he was, Hiei's response was almost nonexistent, a small grin, almost mocking, telling me I'm not worthy of a wide smile. 

"You were gone a long time Hiei, has Murkro been keeping you busy?" I asked off handedly, simply trying to get my mind off its current trail. I know Hiei hated to talk about anything involving himself, so I didn't expect an answer, just an acknowledgment in the form of a "hn".

"Hn. Yes, she had me on border duty." My head snapped up in response to his. . .response. What was different, why was he paying attention to what I said?

I wiped the surprise, that would be evident to even the most oblivious, off my face. "Did she give you a vacation then?"

"No, actually Koenma sent for me. . .we have another mission." He stated quite simply, and I couldn't help but be enraged by his lack of concern. I didn't expect him to come out and say he missed me, he couldn't live another day without me, but did he have to be so harsh?

"Is that why you came to see me then?" I was well aware my tone could have frozen a small country, but at the moment I didn't care.

Hiei remained silent, I suppose I caught him off guard and he didn't have a premeditated answer to hit me with. . .that's what it had to be. Really. I wasn't even going to try to fool myself into believing he might have been effected by my question. Maybe he was just confused. Maybe I was just letting my emotions control my logic again.

"I mean, Hiei, is that the only reason you stopped by?" It took an amount of effort to return my voice to its normal tranquility, but I needed to control these damn emotions. Being a Ningen has made me too open to expressions, I need to retain some semblance of control. I was Kurama, after all. I was the calm one. 

Hiei remained quite, and I decided I must have proved to him why he never talked to me. . .whatever. Hn. He didn't even notice I was almost naked. . .well there goes that part of the plan. . .right out that infernal window. I shivered a bit. I suppose since it didn't seem to matter to him what I wore or what I looked like, I 'd get dressed. I noticed Hiei turn around to stare at the maple outside. Well maybe it did effect him, my nudity. . .that or he was just a decent person who didn't use his friends to get peep shows. . .AH. Whatever. I pulled my pants shirt on, followed by pants and socks.

"So what is this mission, Hiei?" I said, simply to break the deafening silence that rang in my ears.

"Hn, he didn't give me any details."he answered in a harsh tone. Great now he was mad at me to top it all off. . .

"But he did say it was urgent, so could you possibly hurry up?" Oh, so not only was he mad, he now decided to take out his extra anger on me. . . well isn't that nice.

I let out a deep breath, trying to maintain a calm voice, "Then we should be leaving right away."

He turned to discover I was dressed. And with a short "Hn." exited out the window. 

"Well that's nice Hiei, just leave me here, why the hell did you bother waiting in the first place?" A yelled at the now empty room. 

"K'so" I hissed as I also jumped out the window and raced at full speed to try to catch up with that damn youki.  


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Author's Note: *smiles* I know, I know, I'm not being very fair to Kurama, the first chapter he. . . well I already said it once. .. and in this chapter he. . .needs to take a cold shower, but if this story turns out anything like planned it'll make sense why I'm so cruel. . .not that I don't enjoy it, mind you, I've read too many fanfics beating on Hiei, having Hiei hurt Kurama's feelings, having Hiei rape Kurama, and just making Hiei the bad guy, so I decided it was time to make one with Kurama as the "bad guy?"

Translations:

K'so –dammit

Youki– demon(roughly)

Ningen–human

ah, I think thats it. . .  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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